With a little help from some friends, I have decided I need a specific goal to work towards as far as my weight loss and health gain is concerned. It was suggested to me to try a marathon. That, of course, would be perfect. It is a very specific goal, running is one of the best ways to lose weight and gain health, I already have what I need to start running, so it fits my meager budget. There's only one problem...
I'm not a runner.
I never have been. Even in school, before I destroyed my lungs with years of smoking (I quit, by the way...and yes, I'm still clinging to that accomplishment as one of the most fan-freaking-tastic things I've ever done in my life.) I wasn't a runner. In gym class, I would run for a little bit and then walk and watch, red-faced and out of breath, as faster classmates passed me and were already walking off the stitch in their side at the finish line. In high school, I told my PE teacher that I couldn't run because I wasn't wearing a support bra that day. Avoiding any eye contact with my chest, they just shook their heads and walked away, which is what I was going for. I was awesome at excuses in high school. It was one of the few things I was good at in high school.
Now, I'm in my late thirties, and I'm still not a runner. And I still have a large chest, but I do have support bras. And there's no one to make excuses to except myself. It's hard to bullshit yourself. I really have to work at it.
So I've decided to try the Couch to 5K training program. I've been walking on the treadmill for a few months now. But as any one with two legs will tell you, walking ain't running.
For the first week of training. I was supposed to do a brisk walk for 5 minutes, then alternate with 60 seconds of jogging, then 90 seconds of walking for a total of twenty minutes. I made it ten. Ten itty-bitty minutes. My legs started to burn, so I thought, That's good. That means I'm doing something right. I'll run through the pain.
Then the pain said, Oh no, you won't.
I had to stop. I had to stop and force myself to walk it off and not collapse in a heap on the floor, whimpering and crying like a baby.
Then I went to lift weights and do my stability ball exercises so I didn't feel like a complete failure.
I'm not giving up, though. I am still going to try to morph myself into a runner...
It just may take a while.
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